FoodSwings
Review by HQ

***DISCLAIMER***
By no way, shape, form, belief, or mentality am I or will I ever claim to be that or believe in the fundamentals of which a VEGAN would adhere to.
I do not practice, nor appreciate, nor tolerate VEGAN lifestyles. But GOD DAMN IT when you find something good regardless of what you believe then share the fucking wealth. Right?! And that's what this place is trying to do. Getting you in the gut with some love.
With that being said I have to give it up to this place. It's called Foodswings. It's touted as the only Vegan Fast Food joint in existence and it deserves the respect from omnivoures and herbivores alike. I don't want to get too much into semantics because Vegans with their heightened morays and values align themselves with certain groups. Most of which I refer to as the "Rev" kids or kids "for the cause." Whatever the fuck the case is vegan's decidely limit their options so Foodswings provides as they state "..Vegan food that's familiar, friendly, and fun."
The three F's! Fucking Fantastic Fag, Frequently Fucked Flop, Frumpy Fat Fuck....So, located in Williamsburg two blocks down from Bedford Avenue on Grand Street. The place is a small little hipster set with workers alike. The counter people are friendly, fast and .....whatever.
Now, I can't really write a review of a restaurant unless I've tasted everything but I'll tell you of the things I've experienced so far. The Foodswings Drumsticks prepared in the Southern Fried Style is like a throwback to your black baptist grandma who used to cook up some Collard Greens and Peas after getting dressed up in her Sunday's best. Who doesn't remember that? They have that in a Buffalo Style which is the same thing but smothered in Buffalo Sauce, and BBQ which is heavy on the hot sauce...frankly. I hate it and think they put way too much on for me to handle. It makes you cough it's so much and hot.
The Philly Cheese Steak is splendid and I can say this with a non biased opinion. Yeah, I went to Gino's in Philly for a taste of the real thing bitch wit' cheddar cheese n' onions and peppers but I still think this is good. It's really greasy. I really wonder because the meat is like not meat and if it's not meat then it can't juicy and if it's not meat juice then where the fuck is the greasy from? And the cheese. It melts?! How the fuck....
Hide the Salami is a wrap with spinach and Salami and mayo. It's good when your trashed and you need to eat something good. Enough said.
I guess this place just really confuses the fuck out of me sometimes because the food is so close to the real thing that you forget that you're eating faux-whatever-you-ordered.
Anyway the prices are relatively cheap considering the neighborhood. You can get a nice meal for about $10 and feel as healthy as ever.
They have an assortment of milkshakes that needs to be addressed. I suggest the Tank because it's good and because the folklore of the shake is neighborhood legend. He had full days of going to Home Depot, maybe Bed Bath and Beyond he didn't know but he went to Foodswings to grab a shake before. He could only do one though. Just one. Fuck....It's a stupid story.
My friend Tank used to go in there and bug the shit out of the owner, Freedom into naming a shake after him. Funny story?!

Food Swings
Vegan Fast Food
295 Grand Street
PHONE: (718) 387-1919
AVERAGE ENTREE: $5

website: http://www.foodswings.net/